THE SAME

i can't shake this feeling
and i'm not used to it
i feel weak and unsteady
and i don't like it
i feel like words are slipping
off the edge of my page
and i can't catch them
and i can't put them back
i can see into the future
i can see it in the distance
and the bright lights hurt my eyes
and the fighting makes my head hurt
but my spirit soars
and i know i can stay this way
forever more
and yet when i turn back
and i look at me now
i wonder how i could ever get there
there is no path from where i am now
to where i will be then
and as the lightning strikes again
i wonder why i never noticed
that it was a storm
i thought it was just drizzle
and so has my time come?
nay, i have been teased once more
and are these the tests and trials
that she spoke of?
nay, for they wound me not
and if i could change all this, would i?
yes i would be that girl on the stage
with the power
and no one would shun me
and i would win
but for now i am back in the dark place
the world where my songs itch and burn
and i can't keep them in
and i can't draw them out
they just hide there
and they itch and burn
i am angry and i am frustrated
i know i can fight and i know i can win
but right now i just want to sleep
and dream
and never wake up
so if i should wake in the morning
and i don't seem happy to see you
believe me, it's not you
it's the world.
the same cold world
it has always been.

Tamyka Bell
03 June, 2003


If you find any typos, or if you have any comments to make on my poems, please email me.

Light Years
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