The Arts - Physics Poetry from previous years.

2011, 2013: Click here for 2011, 2013 and main menu. 2010: Joel the Mole Scroedingers Electron 2008: Spotter the Otter 2007: A Physics Curriculum I'd Rather be a Lawyer The Adventures of John the Electron 2010 Physics Poetry Joel The Mole by Sean Simpson Joel the mole was a happy little guy Who spent his nights looking at the sky For hours and hours he'd look and look He found what to look for in a handy little book Though one thing troubled our happy little guy For you see no matter how hard he would try One sight eluded this happy little mole He had yet to see the renowned black hole So much did this trouble our happy little Joel His friends gathered around to try to console One of his best friends came right to his aid This was just the question for which he was made "For you see," began Larry the lark "The reason you cannot find is because it is dark The term black in the name is the key That in fact makes it very hard to see" Joel was confused at this revelation Towards it he felt he had some hesitation How can there be an object he cannot find Joel knew nothing that existed of that kind All of his friends were also quite wary Larry, however, had just come from the library He said, "Gather around and I will explain Hopefully I will even entertain" "I'll begin with the basics right from the start At a star whose future is to blow itself apart Now there is a limit for the mass of this star The mass is set by my friend Chandrasekhar If above this limit the mass should go over The star will become a big supernova Why this happens is easily told It happens when the star does implode" "The star will collapse when its fuel runs low Due to gravity there is only one place to go In and in the star does fall Will it stop for anything at all? If the star had not enough mass It would become a ball of electron gas Here the Pauli exclusion will hold Forever more out in the cold" "The star is now on its way To becoming a black hole this very day However there is one more hurdle it must leap Before it can fall into a massive heap All is going well until when Pauli exclusion strikes again Neutrons here do not wish to meet only through gravity can it be beat" "Now the neutrons have been passed The future of the star can be now forecast The star's collapse continues on Until the star is all but gone To a single point the star does fall Until nothing there is seen at all So this my friends is the tale Of a black hole's birth in minor detail" The group of friends listened in awe Nothing like this had they heard before The story of a black hole's destructive birth Had given them all a nice sense of mirth But something still troubled our dear little Joel Why had he still not yet seen a black hole This was the next question that he did ask The reply was that it was wearing a mask "The explanation is as easy as can be It comes straight from the force of gravity You see though light is luminous and full Even it is not immune to gravity's pull Light going past the hole does get caught Their remaining free life is then cut short Towards the hole the light will disperse In to the middle the light does traverse" "You see there is a barrier for the light Beyond this all you see is the night Known as the horizon of the event This is the place where light is most bent Past this point no thing can escape No matter what move the thing tries to make So you see the hole itself will be black As nothing going in will ever come back" This answer still troubled our friend Joel the mole Would he never see the famed black hole? Again to his aid came Larry the lark He explained, "So you see even though it is dark There are effects it causes that you will see You just have to observe quite carefully" To this little Joel grinned ear to ear This was just the answer he had wanted to hear Back to Menu Schroedingers Electron by Murray Baker Ooops, I have lost the electron, I don't know where it is, My boss is going to be furious, It is not my electron, it's his. Erwin, where is that electron, Please don't say it's lost, That's coming out of your pay packet, Do you know how much electrons cost? I'm in really serious trouble, need a plan to save my ass, I will just invent some dodgy physics, Peer review it will likely pass. Have you found that electron yet? I beg you, find it please, I can't afford another one, electrons don't just grow on trees. (molecular orbitals in chlorophyll molecules?) The electron could be anywhere, so until the furore abates, Oh... I will say that it's... in a superposition of multiple states. Erwin, your physics is brilliant, You will win a Nobel prize, I didn't know electrons could do that, For being so rude, I apologise. I actually got away with it, my boss is not too bright, but if I ever have another electron, I won't let it out of my sight. I've made an awful contribution, to physics jargon though, "superposition" is just the politically correct, term for "I don't know". Back to Menu Back to Menu 2008 Physics Poetry Spotter The Otter by David Barry By a river that flowed in old Ottoman land, A big group of otters relaxed on the sand. The otter called Fay and the otter called Caleb, The otter called Delf and the otter called Waleb, The otter called Vlistance, the otter called Froo, The otter called Malachi Mulligan too, All of them turned to the otter called Spotter, The otter who wasn’t your ordinary otter. Spotter the Otter had mastered the stars, And the comets and Saturn and Venus and Mars. The otters were gathered this fine and clear night To learn about all of the stars in their sight. “Please Spotter, explain,” said the otter called Vlistance, “How stars that we see here came into existence.” And Spotter the Otter then pointed his ’scope, And all of the otters were lifted with hope, ’Cause they loved to look up at the heavens above. One of them looked and he then said, “By Jove!” Spotter let everyone look and then said, “What you see there is the famous Horsehead.” “A nebula has a collection of dust, But it’s all very cold and it doesn’t combust. If there’s enough dust, then maybe, perhaps, Gravity makes it all start to collapse.” “But Spotter,” asked one little otter called Fay, “It can’t just be random – there must be a way How to tell if the cloud will fall in or stay static. The workings of physics must not be erratic.” “You’re entirely correct there,” said Spotter to Fay. “And now I’ll explain that with no more delay. The formula here was discovered by Jeans, But it might be too hard now to see what it means.” And Spotter the Otter then cle-ared his throat, And recited the formula studied by rote. “You start with a factor of nine over four, But then it gets harder – there’s much much much more! One on the square root of two pi times n Times one on the square of the H2 mass, then Take the constant of Boltzmann and times it by T, Divided by Newton’s ol’ constant big G, Raised to the pow-er of three over two: You’ve now got the Jeans mass, I swear that it’s true!” “But what happens next?” asked the otter called Delf. “When the gaseous cloud’s fallen in on itself?” “You’re going too fast now,” was Spotter’s reply, And Spotter the Otter then gave a small sigh. “The cloud starts to collapse, and some sub-clouds of gas, Sufficiently denser and with enough mass, All clump together and start to rotate. It makes the collapsing then start to abate: It spins and it spins and gets hotter and hotter, Until it’s more stable,” said Spotter the Otter. “So the cloud as a whole will keep up its collapse, But there might be some protostars, maybe, perhaps.” “The protostar keeps on attracting more mass, From all the surrounding molecular gas. It slowly contracts and so generates heat, Until this small part of its life is complete. Its protostar life is then near its conclusion: Deuterium then starts its nucle-ar fusion. The accretion keeps making it more and more massive, The internal behaviour gets less and less passive. The hydrogen then starts to fuse and we see A star that is cle-ar to you and to me!” The otters’ instruction had come to an end, Happy with what they could now comprehend. So the otter called Bob and the otter called Pooley, The otter called Squinky-Di-Alla Mavooley, The otter called Plok and the otter called Totter, All knew a lot more thanks to Spotter the Otter. Back to Menu 2007 Physics Poetry A Physics Curriculum by David Barry We begin by revising the notion of force, And Newtonian concepts of motion, of course. Basic equations will never be spared (Like ess equals yoo tee plus half ay tee squared). Then things get better, I’m sure you’ll agree: Let kinetic be T and potential be V . Take the difference of these two and call this guy L. At the coming equation you’ll want to excel. Write L as a function of q and q-dot. Find dee L dee q-dot, and then once this is got, Dee dee t of this guy, you’ll see that it’s true, Is simply the same as dee L by dee q. Then thermodynamics: the ide-ee-al gas. You’ll be given the pressure and particles’ mass, And density, volume and then asked to show If the temperature therefore is high or is low. If the system is large, you will need to find Z, That function from which many things can be read. Z is the sum of all terms— Can you guess? Ee to the negative β ee ess! Next about optics you’ll learn of this fact: When changing a meedyum a wave will refract. The law that describes this is named after Snell, And it’s simple and short but it works very well. Take n in part 1 over n in part 2, And look how the angle got smaller or grew. All students will know then, yes even the worst, That it’s sine of the second on sine of the first! From down in the doldrums did physics revive With what Einstein published in nineteen oh five. Light in a vacuum goes at the same speed, Regardless of reference, religion or creed. Time can’t be constant if this is the case, And here is the formula taking its place: b is the quotient of v over c, Then it’s 1 on root 1 less that b squared, times t. Schrödinger, Bohr and the constant of Planck (Last is the favourite of many a crank!). Quantum mechanics is king of the small, And its myst’ries and magic will always enthrall. The state of the system is written as Φ. Multiply this by an hbar times i. The fluxion of this you can easily see: It’s Hamilton’s H times that Φ times dt. There’s a lot more to physics than just all of that, Like atoms and photons and Schrödinger’s cat. But it takes me forever to get this to rhyme, And to go any further I’d need much more time. Back to Menu I'd Rather be a Lawyer by Christopher Wright I was having lots of fun Things were going fine. Met some great new people, and Was having a great time. ...but then..... "The time has come" (the lecturer said) "to speak of many things". Of photons, quarks and lazer-beams And theories made of strings. At that point, I'm sad to say My brain, it turned to goo All runny it was, and it leaked From orifices, one and two. [point to left and right ears] At that point, I must report I rested my weary head Upon the floor, raised both my arms And legs, and just played dead. It's not all bad, I must admit There are something's I quite like The explosions are rather cool And so is Andrew White. But no! My brain 'made up its mind' It shouted "I object"! Lets do something easier Something more...perfect. My course was clear, my way mapped out No thinking anymore. No more crummy physics stuff I'll go and study law. That's all good! It felt all right It all made sense, it's true. To convince you round, to my line of thought I give you reasons, two; First, studying law is better It's really much more fun. I'd rather be in a law lecture Than a boring physics one. For law lectures are more funny I'm sure you'll realize. When the only source of humor in YOUR lectures is; "For this, he gets Nobel prize!?" In law, I've never fallen asleep Not one lecture have I missed. I know this happens in Science ones though Naming no names (Chris). Secondly, and this is the one I think is rather funny. While you all bludge off Centrelink I'll be making money. While you exist on minimum-wage (And I hope this makes it clear). By then I'll be earning About..oh..half a mil. a year. Yes, in terms of luxury Your future's fairly Spartan. You'll be driving Holdens, while I'm in an Aston Martin When research bills are through the roof And ethics legal cases are pursuing. Take a look around you guys! I'm the one whose suing. No, it's not morals and ethics That make me pick my field. Plenty work for the human good I'll go for something...more high-yield. I'd rather be a lawyer (Yes, this poem is rather long). I'll say it again and again I'll even sing it through song; [sing to tune of "I wish I was a punk-rocker"] Oh I wish I was an old lawyer With a wig instead of hair. I may not be making lazer-guns But I don't even care. I think that it is fate... You may not think it's fa-aaaaaair But I wanna be an old lawyer With a wig instead of haaaaaaaair! [stop singing, please god stop singing now] My sad melody line aside I hope it's becoming clear. My reasons for this thing I say I'd rather be a lawyer. You may ask what on earths the point? (And I applaud your intuition). Of joining a profession universally disliked? Well..at least I'm not a politician. You say, how can you want to join A profession, reputation torn Apart by guys like O.J. Simpson? My friends, I give you Sean. Again, you ask, why wear wigs and robes When injustice you must fight? In short, why go to work Dressed up like a transvestite? I've got no ready answer, but Before you get indignant. At least I don't have to know That stupid Bose-Einstein Constant. Folks, we reach now, the end of my prose And, although it might annoy yer. I'll take my fun lectures, and bags of cash I'd rather be a lawyer. Back to Menu The Adventures of John the Electron by David Barry In a lab in amongst all the dials and the clocks And the laser beams sat a mysterious box. From here it just looks like a regular cube, But inside you will see it’s a cathode ray tube. In the CRT’s wi-re a current was flowing, And John the Electron’s excitement was growing. The electrons did play with that force they all shared (k times q-one times q-two on r squared), But all of them now only thought of their dream: Leaving the wi-re and joining the beam. You may think this life is a little bit vapid; For them it’s like paddling a whitewater rapid. John bounced off some charges and then he was free! He yelled out in triumph and chortled with glee! He zoomed through the vacuum and moved very fast, Enjoying the moment; forgetting the past. But ahead was a hurdle for this little caper: A magnetic field pointed into the paper. “Oh no!” said poor John. “It’s an end to my fun! My free particle days are all dusted and done! Look at my path and the field, if you please, The angle between us is ninety degrees! Then” (you should know) “an electromag quirk’ll Consign me to move in a boring old circle. I know I can’t always have freedom, of course, But this’ll become a centripetal force!”1 1: The author confesses he’s not thought this through: You need ten thousand teslas for this to be true. The circular fate of poor Johnny was sealed By his charge times his speed times the magnetic field. If you make this the same as the force that you need (That is m over r, times the square of the speed), You can find what the size of John’s circle must be: It’s one over q, over B, times mv. It looked like John wouldn’t be able to cope, But still he clinged onto one last final hope. “If the magnetic region does not get much bigger, It’s easily seen (and with excellent rigour) My trajectory’s motion will not become bound, For all it will do is just turn me around.” John entered the field and he swung to the right, Hoping and hoping with all of his might That approaching the end of his half-revolution He’d sense in the field any sharp diminution. But a new pair of magnets was placed by the first: Realising John’s fe-ars, the worst of the worst! Any small fraction of lingering doubt Was smashed when the CRT’s voltage went out. The lives of electrons come with this great risk: Tracing out a trajectory shaped like a disc. The story to this point might look nice and neat, But a rotating charge has to radiate heat. Abraham published (along with Lorentz) A formula making a good deal of sense. I think that all people should find it concerning That students will skip this – a gap in their learning. One sixth a dot times q squared is what should be taught, Times one on π c cubed times epsilon-nought. The upshot of this was a deceleration. (Though nothing did change to the time of rotation. Now don’t look at me to correct and condemn, The angular frequency’s qB on m.) The spiral got small and though John did protest, He kept slowing down and he finished at rest. Back to Menu

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